How do I forgive someone for sexual assault?

When we forgive, we’re releasing the other person from what they’ve done. we’re not holding them personally guilty for what they’ve done. Sometimes when we do that we may feel that we are minimising what has been done. Absolutely not. You need to realise that someone paid for what has happened to you. His name is Jesus. When He went to the cross, He took every sin, everything that was done against you. What was done against you was so horrendous and Jesus had to die for it. That’s how serious it was. Jesus paid the price. He dies for that debt. Retribution has taken place on the person of Jesus.

How do I forgive someone if I don’t feel healed from what they have done to me?

Forgiveness and healing are not the same thing. So many people say, ‘You know what? When I’m healed of the hurt and the pain of what was caused, then I’ll forgive.’ Or they equate being healed from the hurt of the pain with forgiveness. That’s simply not the case. Forgiveness is a decision to let to release somebody, to let them go. Healing takes place when you give the hurt over to God. And let me tell you something. You can’t start truly receiving healing from what’s been done to you until you forgive. Until you let that person go. That’s when you’re able to also release the hurt and let the healing power of God work. As long as you’re holding someone in your prison of bitterness, you have shut your heart off from receiving healing from the hurt.

What does forgiving someone look like?

If you can forgive them to their face. If you can’t for some reason then forgive them during your prayer time. In prayer to God, put them in the hands of God. Jesus paid the price so put them in the hands of God and then acknowledge that you’ve been hurt and give that hurt over to God and trust God for that healing and He’ll heal your heart. Forgiveness is a decision and again, the decision needs to be made and then the healing process can happen.

How do I forgive someone if the thoughts of what they did keep coming back?

Oftentimes the devil will come back to you and try to bring those thoughts back to you and say, ‘Well, you remembered, so you feel that pain and you haven’t forgiven them.’

This is not true as forgiveness is a choice. The Greek word for ‘forgive’ is charizomai. We have a root word that comes from that and we have a Bible College named Charis and the root word of charizomai is grace; which is charis. And so charizomai means to treat somebody graciously without respect for what they deserve or what they’ve earned. In Ephesians 4:32 it says,

And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you.

So how do I forgive someone? I realise I too have been forgiven. Jesus has graciously forgiven me. We didn’t have to earn it, deserve it, or pay it back. But He freely forgave us at the cross. Whatever we receive from God, we can give it out to someone else by His power of the Holy Spirit.

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